Strong Women Don't Play the Victim—They Stand and Deal

October 18, 2024

Introduction
Strong women don’t need to play the victim. They don’t point fingers or wait for someone else to fix things. Instead, they stand tall, face their challenges, and handle them with grace. Mandy Hale said it best: “Strong women don’t play the victim, don’t make themselves look pitiful, and don’t point fingers. They stand and deal.” Let’s dive into what this means, why it matters, and how to embody the strength that defines truly powerful women.

What It Means to Stand and Deal

Standing and dealing means taking ownership of your life. It’s about facing challenges head-on rather than blaming others or waiting for someone to rescue you. Life throws curveballs, and sometimes things happen that are beyond your control. But the way you respond is always within your control.

How to Turn Every Obstacle Into an Opportunity to Win

Take Jessica, for example. She was laid off unexpectedly from a job she loved. Instead of feeling sorry for herself or blaming the company, she took a deep breath and asked herself what she could do next. She updated her resume, started networking, and eventually found an even better opportunity. Jessica didn’t play the victim—she stood and dealt with the situation, and she came out stronger.

Strong women understand that while they can’t always control what happens to them, they can always control how they respond. Standing and dealing is about owning your reactions, making decisions that move you forward, and refusing to be defined by setbacks.

Victim Mentality vs. Empowerment
A victim mentality keeps you stuck. It makes you believe that your life is at the mercy of other people or circumstances, and that there’s nothing you can do to change it. But empowerment is the opposite. Empowerment is about recognizing your ability to create change, even when things are tough.

The Power of Empowerment: How to Take Control of Your Life

Imagine two women facing the same challenge—let’s say, both of them go through a difficult breakup. One woman plays the victim. She blames her ex, talks about how unfair life is, and wallows in self-pity. The other woman chooses empowerment. She acknowledges her pain but decides to use it as motivation. She focuses on her own growth, starts new hobbies, and builds a life she loves without relying on anyone else.

The difference between these two women isn’t the situation—it’s the mindset. A victim mentality holds you back, while empowerment moves you forward. Strong women choose empowerment. They know that no matter what happens, they have the power to stand up and keep going.

As Tony Robbins once said, "The only thing keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself." Studies have shown that people with a growth mindset—those who believe they can improve and overcome challenges—are more likely to succeed in both personal and professional aspects of their lives. Choosing empowerment over victimhood is the key to unlocking that growth.

Refusing to Point Fingers
Blaming others is easy. It’s easy to point fingers when things go wrong, to blame a boss for your career setbacks or blame a partner for your unhappiness. But strong women know that blame doesn’t solve anything. It only keeps you from taking action.

When you stop blaming others, you take back your power. You realize that your happiness, success, and well-being are in your own hands. This doesn’t mean that others never play a role in your challenges—sometimes people do hurt you, and sometimes circumstances are unfair. But staying focused on blaming others won’t change anything. Taking responsibility for your life, on the other hand, will. Refusing to point fingers also helps build better relationships and fosters trust, as people respect those who take ownership rather than shifting blame.

Consider Maria. She had a business partner who betrayed her trust, leading to the failure of their startup. It would have been easy for Maria to blame her partner and give up on her dreams. But instead, she chose to take responsibility for her part in the situation. She learned from the experience, built new skills, and eventually started a successful business on her own. By refusing to point fingers, Maria empowered herself to move forward.

Choosing Strength Over Self-Pity
Self-pity might feel comforting in the moment, but it doesn’t lead to growth. It keeps you stuck, focused on what’s wrong instead of what you can do to make things better. Strong women choose strength over self-pity. They allow themselves to feel their emotions—because feeling is important—but they don’t stay in that space forever.

Think about Emma. She faced a health scare that left her feeling scared and vulnerable. At first, she felt sorry for herself—anyone would. But she didn’t let that feeling take over. Instead, she chose to focus on what she could do to improve her health. She researched, made lifestyle changes, and became an advocate for her own well-being. Emma’s strength wasn’t about ignoring her pain—it was about acknowledging it, then taking action to move forward.

Strong women understand that they are allowed to feel hurt, scared, or sad. But they also understand that their power lies in their ability to get back up, take action, and keep going. Self-pity doesn’t define them—strength does.

How to Become the Strong Woman You Want to Be
Becoming a strong woman is a journey, not a destination. It’s about the choices you make every day, especially when life gets tough. Here are some ways to embrace strength and stand and deal with whatever comes your way:

Take Responsibility: Own your actions, your choices, and your responses. When you take responsibility, you take control.

Practice Self-Compassion: Being strong doesn’t mean being hard on yourself. It means being kind to yourself when things are tough and giving yourself the grace to grow.

Set Boundaries: Strong women know when to say no. They protect their energy and don’t allow others to take advantage of them.

Surround Yourself with Support: Strength doesn’t mean going it alone. Surround yourself with people who uplift you, who believe in you, and who encourage your growth.

Focus on Solutions, Not Problems: When faced with a challenge, focus on what you can do to make things better. Problem-solving is a key part of standing and dealing.

Journaling: Make journaling a daily practice to reinforce your growth habits. Writing down your thoughts, challenges, and victories can help you process emotions, track progress, and stay focused on your journey to becoming stronger.

Every woman has the potential to be strong. It’s not about never feeling weak—it’s about choosing to rise, even when you feel like falling. It’s about standing up, dealing with what comes your way, and refusing to let anything keep you down.

Conclusion
Strong women don’t play the victim. They don’t make themselves look pitiful, and they don’t point fingers. They stand, and they deal. They take ownership of their lives, choose empowerment over self-pity, and refuse to let circumstances define them. Being a strong woman doesn’t mean you never struggle—it means you choose to keep going, even when it’s hard.

As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, 'The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.' Strength is about believing in yourself, even when the odds seem stacked against you.

If you want to be a strong woman, start by taking responsibility. Start by refusing to blame others, by choosing empowerment, and by standing tall in the face of challenges. The journey isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it. Because at the end of the day, strength isn’t about never falling—it’s about always getting back up.

We’d love to hear from you! Share your own stories of strength in the comments below. Your experiences can inspire others to stand and deal with their challenges too. And if this article spoke to you, share it with a friend who could use a little encouragement today.